Thursday, October 7, 2010

31 for 21: Counting My Blessings


Day 7:  Many of you who read this blog know me through Claire.  And so, you've only 'known' me for about 9 months.  But before Claire, and before I married Darren, I was married to Brian.  October will always make me think of Brian, but today October doesn't bring the sadness it once did.

Yesterday would have been Brian's 33rd birthday, but nearly five years ago he passed on.  October used to be the beginning of some hard months.  It was both the month of his birthday and the anniversary of his passing.  For a while, Thanksgiving and Christmas were very hard.  Holidays never seem as joyous when you are missing a loved one.  But today, while I still miss Brian very much, I am able to focus on the blessings he brought into my life.

I am thankful for Brian's wonderful family. His parents, sister and nieces, grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins. While I don't see as much of them as I used to, they will always be my family, and I love them very much.

Most importantly, I am blessed to have had Brian in my life.  We had eight wonderful years together, and I would be a very different person today if I hadn't known him.  I am so thankful for all of our wonderful memories.  The times we laughed until we cried, our trips together, and especially the days that were all alike.  Those days where we worked our jobs, spent the evening together, and then got up the next morning to do it all over again.

Those days make up the bulk of our lives, and I've learned to cherish them. To slow down and appreciate all that I have in my life. I've learned to pick my battles.  There are things that may seem huge at the time, but really are insignificant in the long run.  I've learned not to hold grudges.  Forgiving someone always lightens the load on my shoulders.  And I've learned to say "I love you" everyday.  So that those in my life always know how important they are to me.


  1. Melissa, I am so sorry, as I don't think I knew about the loss of your first husband--how young and how very sad.

  2. I was just missing Brian myself. I've made a couple of trips to Byers for work recently and I always think of Brian when I drive into town. Sometimes I'm sad, but usually I'm thinking of his fun-loving personality.

  3. I "knew" you before Claire but had no idea you had lost your first husband. And so young. You are one strong woman - I am in awe. God bless you.

  4. I am so sorry that you have been through such an awful "event" in your life- losing your husband, and at such a young age. I am so thankful to know that you met darren, have a beautiful daughter claire and that things are easier this october than they have been in the past. A very good friend of my husband's passed away suddenly 2 yrs ago this past August. He was only 35 and he left behind his wife of 3 years and their son, who was only 6 months old at the time. It is still very difficult for his wife and I know I miss Ryan and so does my husband. Thinking of you and happy to know that things are looking brighter these days than the difficult ones you have behind you!!!

  5. I love the last paragraph. It is so very hard to lose someone you love. Wouldn't it be a waste if didn't learn something from it.

  6. I am just catching up on your blog Melissa and learning so much about you. I am so sorry for your loss.


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