39 Weeks, No Baby

Yep, still waiting!

Wednesday was my last doctor appointment.  We had a growth scan (baby is estimated at 6 lbs 14 oz, so with the margin of error, 6 1/2 to 7 1/2 lbs), and an office visit.  We'd planned to see a specific doctor and have her strip my membranes, but she'd been called out of the office, so that part of the appointment didn't happen.  Otherwise the appointment was good. Weight gain and blood pressure are still right where they should be, and Bob is a wiggly baby.  We go back to the dr again on Tuesday if baby doesn't come before then.

Physically I feel great, just a bit disappointed that this whole baby thing isn't happening on my time frame, but really, when does it ever work that way....

My mom was off from work on Thursday so Claire and I met her for lunch and some shopping (walking, really).  We had a great day, went home tired, but no baby.  We did more of the same yesterday, lunch with mom and a friend, more walking/shopping and still no baby.  We've spent so much time in the car the last few days that Claire is refusing to get in the car seat today, and I don't blame her.  So we are sticking close to home, and will venture out to the zoo (more walking!) tomorrow.

In Claire news, she loves being at the farm.  All she has to do is get her hat, sign outside and there is always someone around to put her in the Gator and go for a drive through the cows.  Before we left home she discovered that she could almost climb in one kitchen cabinet.  Darren cleaned it out for her so that they could play right!

And one last belly shot at 38 1/2 weeks.

Seven Snippets Fridays, #5

--- 1 ---

Claire is making an appearance on her friend Wyatt's blog today.  Wyatt is celebrating February with a whole month of Valentines!

--- 2 ---

My headaches have subsided and for that I am extremely grateful. Things are slowly coming together.  A load of laundry for baby is done, so s/he will have at least a couple of options other than blankets.  The car seat has been located, though not installed in the car.  The taxes are almost done, with maybe an hour or two of fine tuning this weekend.  The only pressing issue continues to be the piles on my desk at work.  I've come to the realization that there are just going to be some things I have to pass off to others.

--- 3 ---

I'm sure most of you know Courtney and the Squibs, but if you don't, you MUST visit her blog.  She is the inspiration behind many of the half finished projects I have for Claire all over the house.  But more than that, she inspires me.  Her post Getting to Integral is what I want for Claire.  Claire has jobs where she is integral (she is the drawer closer in the kitchen, and the best trash-thrower-awayer ever), but I've realized this needs to be a continual and evolving process, for both our kids.

--- 4 ---

I've started packing my bags, both for the hospital and for the possibility we end up staying with Darren's parents for a while.  Packing for 3 people (Darren's on his own), for an undetermined length of time is hard.  In true procrastinator fashion, that means I've hit a wall after packing a few toiletries, a blanket for baby and some of Claire's silverware.

--- 5 ---

Darren is under the impression that we have decided on both a girl and boy name.

He's wrong.

I'm still not sure on the boy name, just as I wasn't with Claire.  Makes me kind of hope for a girl.  At least the kid will have a name!

--- 6 ---

If baby doesn't make his appearance on my schedule, and we end up living at the farm for a while, our internet access will be SEVERELY LIMITED.  There is no internet at the farm, and I'm not sure if there is wi-fi in the surrounding towns.  I may have to do a bit of traveling to get online. Because of that, first news of baby will probably be on Facebook. At least I have access to that on my phone.

--- 7 ---

Claire at about 2 months old.  She was still on O2 while sleeping after her bout with RSV.

For more Seven Snippets, visit Bringing the Sunshine!

Still here, still waiting on baby

The countdown has officially begun, and things are BUSY!

I will be 37 weeks preggo tomorrow, and am still sooooo unprepared for baby's arrival.  I don't have any of the newborn clothes out or washed.  The bassinet linens still need to be washed.  I don't have a bag packed in case I do go into labor.  Baby's car seat is still in a closet somewhere.  If baby is a boy, we still don't have a name.  Taxes aren't done. Six days left in the office, and my desk is FAR from clean.

Ah well.  I know it will work out, and that the world won't end if a few things are left undone, but still I'm feeling a bit stressed.

(I've been having headaches for the last week or so.  Since I had pre-eclampsia with Claire my Dr ran some tests this week to make sure all is well.  It is, but that means headaches are stress related (see above!) and I'm not sure how to de-stress myself over the coming weeks.)

We head to Denver for our appointment on Feb 29th.  Membranes will be stripped, and if all goes according to plan, baby will arrive soon after.  If things don't go according to plan, we'll be living with the in-laws until baby arrives.  I love my in-laws, but this is not ideal.

We'd be away from home, without most of our stuff, in someone else's house, sans internet (so I can't even work...).

In all our rushing about my computer time, my alone time, has been pretty much non-existent.  I haven't found time to write a quick post in weeks, let alone time to read other posts and I'm feeling a bit out of touch. I'm not sure it will be any better once baby arrives, but I miss all the updates on Claire's friends!

Just a little random Clairey goodness to finish things off...

Pregnancy Update

33 weeks, 3 days.

We get to meet our little one in roughly six weeks....and while I'm excited, I'm so not ready.

I look around my house, and see mess everywhere.  If I can't keep up with work, house and Claire, how the heck is another little one going to fit in?  I know it will be ok, and that once s/he gets here I won't be able to imagine before, without him.  But wow, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now!

On the pregnancy side of things, uneventful pretty much sums it up.  My belly is measuring right at 33 weeks, baby's heart rate is always mid 140s to mid 150s, my weight gain is right on track, and my blood pressure seems to have stabilized after it's slight jump a few weeks ago.  We have a girl name picked out (no we aren't telling!), but haven't even started on a boy name yet.

I know you aren't supposed to compare, but I can't help comparing this pregnancy to my pregnancy with Claire.  So different, and yet, so much the same.

The differences are easy to spot.  With Claire, something came up at EVERY ONE of her appointments after about 20 weeks.  Ds markers.  Poor blood flow through the cord.  Heart defect.  Failed NST.  IUGR.  It got to the point where I honestly hated going to her ultrasounds.  I would finally feel emotionally ok with whatever the new development was, and then another appointment would get close, and I was a nervous wreck again.  I know the doctors were looking out for Claire and her well being, but I felt robbed.  Robbed of the 'normal' pregnancy experience, and that was hard.  On the positive side, I have an entire album of Claire's ultrasound pictures.

The biggest similarity between these pregnancies is that I just simply love being pregnant.  Even though all the complications with Claire, I still loved the experience.  I love the early muscle twitch movements of the baby, the first time you can see your stomach shift from the outside, and I even love the almost painful movements now that make me catch my breath at times.

Six weeks left and I'm not quite ready to be un-pregnant.  I know I could be saying something very different in a few weeks though!

These are from our 3D ultrasound at 29 weeks, 6 days.

Girl or Boy?

Since we aren't finding out the sex of this baby I constantly have people ask me what I think we are having.

Let me preface this by saying I was SURE Claire was a boy.  To the point that I was buying boy clothes for her.  And we all can see how well my mother's intuition worked!

This time around I honestly don't have a feeling one way or the other.

For fun I decided to see what some of the gender predictors say we are having.

The Chinese chart says we're having a girl.  (This one was right with Claire, and with my sister's new baby)

The baby gender predictor says it's a boy. (Based on parent's birthdays and month of conception)

The Old Wives Tale predictor goes so far as to say we have a 71% chance of having a girl.  (This one asks 15 questions about how high or low the baby is, if you are craving sweets or not, and the baby's heart rate.)

This ----->If you suffer from acre during pregnancy, you will have a girl... is another vote for girl.  But no morning sickness means boy. (I didn't have morning sickness with Claire either though).

And lastly, for my mom, since she says the baby's heartbeat never lies....it is always over 140 which means girl.  

Either way, I know Claire will be a great big sister!

Ultrasound and Echo

On Friday we had a busy day of appointments for baby.  We didn't do the 20 week anatomy scan with our OB as we knew we wanted a more detailed ultrasound.  We also waited until 22 weeks so that we could check out baby's heart at the same time.

I had very mixed feelings going into the appointments.  I wasn't really nervous that the doctors would find anything.  With Claire, I always had a feeling that something was going on with her, and I've never felt that with this baby.  But at the same time, I'm not really sure what to do with a typical baby.  Sounds crazy right?  Everybody worries about having a baby with Down syndrome, as I did with Claire, and now a typical baby freaks me out a bit.

We started out with the ultrasound.  This was the same group of perinatologists that we saw with Claire, and I've always liked and felt comfortable with them.  The tech got caught up on our history, asked how Claire was and commended us on continuing with our pregnancy.  She said most people wouldn't have done that.  I responded that most people would have missed out then, as Claire is awesome.  I always wonder how people take these comments.  If they think that I'm just saying that because she's my kid and I have to, or if they can tell that I really mean it.

We gave our usual warning that we don't want to know sex of the baby and then got started.  This tech moved a little faster through the measurements than some of the others we've had.  Maybe she had more practice, or maybe it was that everything was measuring where it should be and she didn't double check herself as much as they did with Claire. She spent a lot of time on baby's heart, but said it looked structurally sound.  When all was said and done, baby is growing perfectly.  S/he is a few days a head of schedule and estimated at 1 lb 2 oz.

When the doctor came in (not the one I'd scheduled with, she was called out) he started out by mentioning that he noticed we declined screenings.  He went on to offer the new MaterniT21 test.  I declined again.  We are not concerned about Ds, and with no markers on the ultrasound we are even less concerned now.  He took a quick look at baby, mostly the heart again, and said that everything was good.

We go back at 32 weeks for a follow up ultrasound as I'm hoping for a VBAC, and none of the hospitals in our area do them.  They will make sure there's no reason I can't do one, and then we'll figure out when Claire and I have to move up closer to the hospital.  None of the doctors are comfortable with us being 2 hours away.

Since the ultrasound looked perfect the echo was a bit anticlimactic.  I really like the echo tech as this office, even though we don't see her often.  She's done both of our fetal echos and a couple of other echos for Claire.  The echo took about an hour and we chatted through the whole thing.  There wasn't the scared silences like our last fetal echo.

After the echo was done with met with Claire's cardiologist for literally five minutes.  He said the structure of the heart, all of the vessels and the squeeze of the heart are all perfect.  There is no need for us to come back, not even after the baby is born, unless I get nervous.  We aren't planning on any follow up echos for baby, but will be requesting a pulse ox test for him in the hospital.  It's such a quick, painless way to rule out congenital heart defects that it will be done.

So, all is well with baby!  I am a bit sad that I won't have all the ultrasound pictures with this baby that I did with Claire, but at the same time, it's awfully nice not to have to fit more appointments into our full schedule.

21 months and 19 weeks

Things have been busy in our world, but not blogging exciting, just plain busy.

Me: I'm at work four days a week now.  I miss my extra time at home with Claire, but I'm grateful that I had 21 months of only working three days a week.  It also means that my one day off during the week is packed with EI appointments, phone calls, shopping and anything else that comes up.  I'm adjusting to the new schedule, though I do feel more hurried and scattered, if that's even possible.  Claire doesn't mind the change at all.  She LOVES going to school/daycare, and can't get enough of her friends and the teachers.

I am just finishing up with a Hanen class too.  The class focuses on communication, not speech exactly, but teaches you how to interact with your child in a way that encourages them to take turns and have "conversations".  The program teaches you how to modify daily routines and play times to give your child more opportunities to communicate.  It's been a great class, and I'm glad I took it, but it's held two hours from home, on a weeknight.  Yet another long day!  I have one more class left and I'm bummed that it's over, but can't wait to have that evening at home again.

Claire:  Little miss is just doing wonderfully.  We are still celebrating her first steps, and we've been practicing whenever we have the chance.  She's taken a few more steps, but nothing quite as spectacular as in that PT appointment.  **Edited to add:  Last night I set her in the middle of the floor again and quite a few times she would walk between Darren and I with 3-4 steps!  :)

We are at a break in Claire's extra appointments, and that is very welcome.  I have a hearing re-screen set up for December, but otherwise nothing until her 2 year old (!!!) appointments in January.  We are busy enough with her weekly EI appointments and monthly private therapy that I don't have the energy for much else these days.

Claire's signing vocabulary continues to grow.  She has over 35 signs that she uses on her own, with quite a few more that she will mimic.  Earlier this week I had the opportunity to meet the school district's teacher for the deaf and hearing impaired children.  I asked her about sign language resources in our area (there aren't any) and she offered herself!  She loved Claire, and was so excited to see her signing.  We are in the process of getting our IFSP modified, but then this gal will meet with us once and month just to teach us new signs.  We already have plans to go to the park and the grocery store to practice signing.  I am so excited for this opportunity!!

Clairey just cracks me up.  She is such a hoot and the things she comes up with never cease to amaze me.  Her newest "trick" is to ask for milk.  We walk to the kitchen, open the fridge and she immediately goes for the cheese, yogurt, or whatever else looks  good to grab.  Apparently I need to teach her some more food signs.  :)

New Baby:  First of all, this baby doesn't have a nickname yet.  Claire's was Pip and we called her that all the time.  Nothing has really stuck this time around.

We declined the 2nd trimester blood work, and instead have a full days worth of appointments set up in a couple of weeks.  We will have a very through level two ultrasound (with the same doctor we saw with Claire) and a fetal echo (with Claire's cardio).  We know both of these doctors well, and feel very comfortable with this decision.

One of the biggest perks to being pregnant again is feeling the baby move so much earlier.  This little one's wiggles became noticeable around 15 weeks, and Darren was able to feel him/her (see why we need a nickname!) last week.

I've been feeling great, except the muscle cramps that showed up last week.  I know a lot of it is all the time sitting.  Between my desk job and all our travel time in the car, I just get stiff.  I've been getting up and moving, consuming bananas and drinking lots of water, but if anyone else has other suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

Last night I realized I'm almost half done being pregnant and we haven't even thought about names.  Since we won't find out the sex, we need to have at least one boy and one girl name.  Darren still likes our boy name from Claire.  I was undecided on it when she arrived, and for that reason was glad she was a girl. Since we had a really time agreeing with Claire, this is something we need to start thinking about!

And to finish things off, a kiss from Claire.  :)

(Please ignore the beer can in her lap.  Darren decided if she was going to rummage in the fridge every time it opened she might as well carry his beer to the living room.)

Prenatal Testing After Down Syndrome

When I was pregnant with Claire we debated on having any prenatal screening.  In our area first trimester screening isn't offered, so the first time any testing was mentioned was the second trimester blood work.  My doctor mentioned that at my next appointment they would take blood.  I informed her that I was undecided if we were going to do the testing.  She said she preferred to have it done because it can give an indication of problems like preeclampsia and IUGR, in addition to screening for Down syndrome.

I went home and we talked about it for the next four weeks.

In the end, I had the blood work done, and it came back with elevated risk (1/80) for Down syndrome.  This test led to extra ultrasounds, NSTs, and eventually prenatally diagnosing Claire's heart defect.

It also led to a stressful and worrisome pregnancy.  My doctor, more so than the high risk doctors, seemed to be looking for problems.  And if you look hard enough, you can likely find something wrong.

For us, there were both good and bad outcomes of the screening.

I am very thankful that Claire's heart defect was diagnosed prenatally.  We were able to change delivery plans, and she was born at a hospital with a NICU.  If she'd been born in our small, rural hospital there is a good chance that she would have been transported to a larger hospital.  And I, recovering from a c-section, would have been left behind.  That would not have been good on this mama's heart.

I am also thankful that the increased risk of Down syndrome (increased to 50/50 chance after her heart defect was diagnosed) gave us a chance to educate ourselves, family and friends.  I wanted the birth of my first child to be a joyful occasion, and it was.  For the most part, we didn't have the uncomfortable silences, the stares.  People, us included, weren't shocked by Down syndrome.  And while I sure there were whispers and comments, we didn't hear them.

My biggest problem with the screening, as I mentioned above, was that my doctor seemed to be looking for problems.  I know she was being cautious for the sake of our baby, but this did not make for a relaxing pregnancy.  We were always having ultrasounds (these I loved!) and tests, and new problems were always cropping up.  I would finally get used to a new "problem", then it was time for another doctor appointment, and some new issue had to be dealt with.  As much as I loved being pregnant, I hated this cloud of doom hanging over us.

So, here we are again, deciding on the second trimester blood work.  And I think I'm even more undecided this time around.

On one hand, we are already classified as high risk.  We will see the same doctors as last time for a detailed level II ultrasound and fetal echo around 20 weeks.

But then again, Claire's heart defect wasn't found until we'd had many ultrasounds, at 29 weeks.

The screening tests aren't always accurate, but even if they are, I don't think I want the "what if" hanging over my head.  I'm not scared of Down syndrome, but Claire has opened my eyes to many other disabilities.  And there are many things I don't think I'm cut out for.  Enter the worry I don't want in my pregnancy.

Hopefully that doesn't sound hypocritical.  I didn't think I was cut out to be a parent of child with Down syndrome either, but we are good.  I know I will be able to take on whatever challenges may come our way, but that doesn't mean I want to worry about that for the next five months.

So, with writing all of this out I am leaning towards no second trimester blood work. My next doctors appointment isn't for ten days though, and I'm sure I will change my mind a hundred times before then.

Because I'm curious, what did you (or would you) do for any subsequent pregnancies?

*****

And just because I hate posting with no pictures, one of Claire before the weather turned COLD.

Playdoh Fail

This weekend I was feeling inspired.  I had big plans of all of the new things Claire and I were going to try.  We were going to make a light table (got all the parts, just never got around to it), draw masterpieces (which we did.  And did you know that if you stick a marker up your nose you will have colorful boogers the next day?), and were going to have a fabulous playdoh playtime.

I used the recipe from Pudge and Biggs.  It was easy and quick.

Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't expecting Claire to really get cutting out the shapes or rolling snakes, but I thought she might enjoy sticking her hands or other toys into it.

Nope.

She was only interested in eating it.

Okay, I'll give her a bit more credit than that.  Looking through the pictures she really did play with it some, but her priority was shoving as much into her mouth as fast as she could.

After that last blocked bite, our playtime ended with a spectacular meltdown. 

*****

Thank you for all of your congratulations and questions about how I'm feeling.  I was blessed not to have morning sickness with Claire, and have been just as lucky this time around.  That's not to say I didn't have days where I feel blah, but those seem to be pretty much over.  My fatigue is better too, but there are days I'm still taking advantage of Claire's naps and grabbing a little shut eye too. 

Claire's Big, Exciting News!!

Since Claire is so thrilled, I'll let her tell you all herself....

Once we got inside, we got a smile and a hammy face, but I think she is a bit unsure about what's going to change in her world...Or else she just didn't like being outside.  Could have been either one!

*****

Yesterday was my second drs appt.  It was the usual, weight, blood pressure, pee in a cup.  Then it was time to hear the heartbeat.  The time I couldn't wait for, and that I was also dreading.

The dr got the doppler, and looked....and looked....and looked....and looked.

She left to get another doppler, and I stared at the ceiling and tried not to freak out.

Came back with the second doppler and looked...and looked.

Went back to the first one as the second one wasn't picking up many sounds at all.

And finally, that reassuring thrum of a heartbeat filled the room and I relaxed.

*****

And for those who are going to ask.  No, we are not finding out the sex of the baby ahead of time.  You'll know when we do, sometime in March!