As a first time parent, I have the big milestones loosely in mind. Sitting around 6 months, then crawling after that, and walking sometime around a year. That is how things are 'supposed' to happen. I also know that Claire will probably not follow this same timeline. And honestly, I'm ok with that. I know that this may change, that I may get discouraged with what may be seen as a lack of progress, but for now, I revel in what she can do.
I love that she rolls onto her belly and can happily spend what seems like forever playing with her toys. I love that when she sees me come around a corner, or into her line of sight, her entire face lights up. I love that she is a hard worker. She wants so badly to sit up, and will try and try until she is all tuckered out. I love that she sleeps through the night, and wakes me up in the morning to a foot waving overhead and soft coos.
There are plenty of opportunities for comparisons. I have a niece that is three weeks older than Claire, and she goes to daycare with a little boy one week younger than she is. They are doing things she is 'supposed' to be doing. And yet, when I look at them I'm not sad. Instead, I see what we have coming up, the next steps we have to look forward to. And I thank God everyday for keeping me focused on what is, instead of what is 'supposed' to be.
Well said, Melissa!!! We have good friends who have a little guy who is 5 months younger than Lily. It used to make me a bit sad when I watched all he was doing. Now, I think..."yay, look what Lily is going to be doing soon". Rejoice in all Claire IS doing...it feels so much better than the other way around.
ReplyDeleteComparisons are such a dangerous, slippery slope. For anybody. My son didn't walk until he was about 14 or 15 months, and everyone around me was freaking out. My cousin's kid didn't walk until he was 2, and a friend's daughter is only talking at the age of 3. I like your attitude...just to enjoy what she is doing. She will accomplish her milestones when she is ready!
ReplyDeleteIt's so true- comparisons are a waste of time! I have a friend who always makes this funny comment when someone says their child started walking- he says "My son has been doing that for 18 years now":) Our babies WILL each those milestones, and it isn't a race! Great post!
ReplyDeletewonderfully said :) i love all of your descriptions of claire - especially the waking up to her foot in the air and her sweet cooing!!!
ReplyDeleteYou have such a loving, caring attitude. Claire is so lucky to have been blessed witha mom like you.
ReplyDeletePerfectly stated, Melissa!! You echoed so many of my thoughts!! Having 2 older boys, I often got caught up in what all the textbooks said. I learned early on, to pick & choose my reading wisely. Thankfully, I found my place of peace earlier rather than later! As frustrating as it can get at times, I try to remember that I am MORE frustrated that my little guy has to work so hard to do the smallest of things.......and not frustrated with the fact that he isn't doing something on the textbook schedule. The milestone's will come and the celebrations will follow. Who cares when it all happens! I am so happy that you found your place of peace too:) Claire is so lucky to have you!!!
ReplyDeleteSo well put!! They may do things a little later, but I'll take the smiling, always happy face over that anyday!
ReplyDeleteI love your post! I have two older boys and I did a little comparing and have stopped myself. I know Hope will do things in her own time. She is doing exactly what she is supposed to be doing...especially after all she has been through. I can't imagine how hard things were for her...especially after surgeries. I also know that some of Hope's delays are probably because I was VERY overprotective of her until a couple months ago.
ReplyDeleteI remember my boys when they started walking and I am looking forward to Hope being a little older...it makes my life a little easier too! And, I do think she would get a lot of looks if she started walking before she was bigger...she is a tiny thing and only looks about 5 months old.
I understand completely what you are saying. I too am a first time mommy of a special heart baby. Aly is 1 and just started crawling about 3 days before her first birthday. She has 3 friends that are all within 3 months of each other (she is 2nd oldest by 4 days)and every one of them was crawling at least 3 months before her. But when you look at all of our children have been through and the time lost recovering it all makes sense. The way I look at is soon enough they will all be doing the same things soon enough, right?
ReplyDeleteHi! Thanks for your comments on my blog :-) Your daughter is adorable! You know, after having 3 "typical" kids who hit all the milestones around the average time, I am looking forward to things slowing down a bit with Darya and to really be able to enjoy her reaching those in her own time! I think there will be so much more rejoicing :-)
ReplyDeleteI bet miss Claire it the cutest thing, I smiled picturing her cute little foot in the air and the cooing!
ReplyDeleteSlow and Steady wins the race.Stole that from another mommy who had to watch her little guy fight harder than most.It soon became our adopted mantra.
ReplyDelete*Hope you got my email.
Found your blog via BabyCenter, and I couldn't have said it better when it comes to comparison. I stopped doing so when I had my 3rd, and I'm not planning on starting with my youngest (4th). My extra chromo baby will reach his milestones on his own time, not mine nor anyone else's. For now, I'm just enjoying the fact that he's a healthy, peaceful baby to be around. Take care!
ReplyDeleteFound your blog through another friends, and I have tears in my eyes. I JUST wrote about comparisons when it comes to my little guy, already 3 months old (with Ds). I'm trying to enjoy the fact that we get to enjoy our babies just a little longer than most, and I was so happy to hear your perspective. There are times when it gets me, but that smile my guy gives me when I walk in the room, makes it all irrelevant!
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