Today was one of those days when I've felt a little discouraged. We had a community group meeting this morning (nothing against the group, it's wonderful!), but after talking about IEPs, therapy, medicaid and crappy EI service coordinators, I'm just feeling a bit out of sorts. I just wish I didn't have to deal with the stuff that comes with Ds, or any special need, for that matter.
I don't want to feel like I need to move so that she can have better services. I don't want to have to fight for her to be included in school. I don't want to worry about whether her someday siblings will feel blessed or burdened by her. I don't want to worry about where she'll live,and who will provide for her when I'm gone.
I don't have these days very often, but frankly, I don't like them much. I know I can, and will, handle whatever comes our way, but today, I don't WANT to have to handle it.
It's days like these that make me feel silly for even considering adoption through RR. But then, like this afternoon, I spend time on blogs, FB and babycenter, and I slowly get back into the Ds is no big deal frame of mind. And I know tomorrow will be better, but today, I'm down on Ds.
Sorry that you're feeling down today, Melissa! Claire will be fine! And her siblings will love her SO much! Let God take care of your beautiful baby girl! I will be praying for you guys :)
ReplyDeleteWe ALL have these feelings. And you're right--you will feel differently tomorrow. Or not. Either way that doesn't matter to Claire. She knows she's loved to the moon and back.
ReplyDeleteThere is always a lot to consider when you've got a child with a disability, but the worries aren't full time, thankfully. And, the intensity fades over time.
Hoping tomorrow the worries wane and you're feeling confident again.
Sending you cyber hugs Melissa.Big,giant cyber hugs and tomorrow will indeed be a better day.
ReplyDeletethese days are sucky! and it is ok to have this day and many more...it is ok to say I do not want to...because we know just because we say this...does not mean we will not do it! we will...we will do what is needed..BECAUSE!! Claire is a ROCKSTAR and you are the LuCKY mom of that ROCKSTAR...smiles
ReplyDeleteIt's OK, you'll bounce back. Not like you have a choice, lol. And , don't feel like you're the only one who gets a little down.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I'm now deaf in my left ear because three of my monkeys were next to me when I came onto your blog. They all went nuts when they saw Claire.
No reason to feel bad about your feelings! (((HUGS))) to you momma! Claire is blessed to have you!
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time sweet Momma...I find when I try to plan or look too far into the future are the times I get down about everything. The same is true for typical kids too, the worries are just different and aren't health related. Claire is a beauty!
ReplyDeleteHugs, Melissa! I know how you feel, I think we all have these days. It will pass. I think we just have to live in the moment.
ReplyDeleteWe all have those days! We are entitled to them too! Its not always as great as it seems, although usually it is. Tomorrow is a new day! And I would love to meet up in Cali, that would be so fun!
ReplyDeleteIt's ok to feel down! Part of the reason you're feeling down is this stuff is still a big unknown to you. You're not even THERE yet. You haven't had to do the majority of what you're worried about facing yet. It seems so daunting because you've had so much information to process. I'm sure when you look ahead it just all seems so exhausting! And you know, once in awhile it is, but in in the scheme of things it's really pretty rare. As far as a RR adoption, good for you for even considering it. I would have adopted when Angela was MUCH younger if I'd had the opportunity! For us, Angela's health blew up some crisis about ever two years (she still does this, actually! LOL) But with all the work that EI was, and getting used to the transition to preschool, if I was able to go back and adopt when she was little I would do it when she was 3 or 4. When she was born I wanted another baby right behind her, but I wasn't able to do have any more. I always regretted that, so I probably would have adopted a child very close in age to her.
ReplyDeleteOOOOH, I'm sorry about your day, I hate those dumb ds days:( Come enter Lily's giveaway, it will cheer you up:) Thank you for all the kind comments on her blog. I wish we could get our girlies together!!
ReplyDeleteBooo :( Those days are terrible! Don't fight it, just let it all come out...that usually helps me bounce back. Give your little one a high five from Jack, she is gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteI definatly have those days from time to time. Its funny because I foolishly thought I would take this year to grieve when I needed to and be sad when I needed to, but by the end of the year I would be ok with everything...HA...Now as we approach Russells first birthday I realize I will never really be "over" this...There will always be these days, that making it through the first year isnt going to magicaly take all these feelings away...But thats ok. There is always more good than bad, and when days like that hit, I let them and know that tomorrow will be better.
ReplyDeleteClaire is a sweetheart, I hope today is a better day for you :)
Just wanted to stop by and say "hey"! My heavens- What a beautiful angel Claire is! Thanks for your sign order. I am honored to do it for you.
ReplyDeleteIn Him,
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Oh how we all have days like this. I look at my precious little girl and would never wish for anything different but there are those days when discouragment takes the lead and gets you down. I have learned and am still learning that you just work through those days with the hope that the next day will hold a brighter outlook. God has given us these children and we are so lucky to have them.
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