For the first time in nearly eight months, I am home today by myself. Darren took Claire to the farm this morning for silage harvest, and they won't be home until some time tomorrow. I couldn't go with them because I have to work tomorrow. And while a little time to myself is going to be wonderful, it's also very strange. The house is so quiet. Even when Claire is sleeping it's not this quiet. And I already miss her. I'm fine leaving her when I go to work because I have to work. Both for financial reasons and for my mental health, but today seems different because I
could be with her. This will be the first night I've spent away from her since she got out of the NICU. I know that she will have a great day with Grandma, and I will be fine on my own, but I feel guilty for being away from her. Ah, the joys of parenting...
I'm so used to my days at home revolving around Claire. The feedings, the naps, maybe a few errands, and of course, pumping. And really, pumping is the only thing I have to do today. There are plenty of things I
should do, but instead, I think the things I
want to do are going to win out. At the very top of that list is a loooong nap, and then I'm going to happily plop my butt on the couch and not move until I've finished this...
Oh you are so lucky. I haven't read a book in months and I love reading. But I know it's hard to be away from Claire, it does feel like a missing piece. Have fun anyway!
ReplyDeleteOh I'm absolutely terrified to be away from Jax and all the boys for a few weeks. I'm going to lose my mind missing them!
ReplyDeleteI know you know this, but as much as it hurts to be away from them and as much as you miss them, this time alone is so necessary. I think time away saved my sanity. As the kids got a little older, it was also really important for my husband and I to get away as well. Of course, all we do when we are away is talk about the kids, but still!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sandy. It was scary at first to not be with the kids and when they were very young, it was tough to leave them at all but Sandy is right... you need to plan time alone periodically to keep sane. Every couple of months, it is good to plan one day that you have alone - not doing any housework or anything. Just you and a book or whatever. It really helps to de-stress every once in a while.
ReplyDeleteHi Melissa. YES, I live near Denise and Ella. It would be great to meet you and Clair. Just email or write when you're close and we'll see if we can join you. We'd love it! Erin
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