Friday, October 12, 2012

Do you say something...or let it go?

Wednesday was Claire's first (short) day back at daycare after being sick.  I dropped her off after OT and planned on picking her up before the kids laid down for their naps.  When I arrived to get her the kids were all outside playing.  Everyone was running around having a great time, the teacher was up near the building with a couple of kids, and Claire was sitting in her swing.

Just sitting there, alone.

I really like everyone at Claire's new daycare.  They put this swing in just for her, and I was 99% sure that she was being pushed in the swing, then a situation came up that the teacher needed to address, and she stepped away.  It happens.  I know that.  Claire was not in any danger, and was not going to get hurt.  She was not upset.  She was just sitting there.

But, she looked so little and so alone sitting there.  And my heart broke a bit.

The teacher could tell that I was upset when I walked up.  She asked what was wrong, and I just shook my head.  I needed some time to decide what I wanted to say about the situation.

I know that having Claire contained at times is great. For example, she's sat in the car (with the doors open) for a minute while I hauled grocery bags inside.  But I needed to make sure that this wasn't going become a common occurrence.

This morning I pulled this director aside when I dropped Claire off.  I explained that driving up and seeing Claire stuck in her swing and ignored was not a good feeling.  I asked that if the teacher needed to step away from her that she take a few seconds, if possible, and take her out of the swing.  Apparently the teacher guessed that Claire stuck in her swing was what was bothering me.  She explained the teacher stepped away because other kids were throwing rocks.  I believer her.  I know things come up.

But at the same time, I had to say something.  I had to make sure Claire was being properly taken care of.

Today I'm reminding myself that I'm not that mom.  Even though I feel like it, I'm not super critical or nit-picky   I am simply concerned about my daughter. And right now I am her voice.


  1. I think you did the right thing by saying something! She may get left in the swing for moments again but they'll be more aware next time a situation comes up! For what it's worth I keep Sutter contained (and Landon too at times) when unloading groceries or doing small tasks that I know will take either 2 minutes with him contained or 10 with him on the loose!

    The hardest part right now (for me) is the lack of words and having to be sure I'm Sutter's voice at all times because he simply doesn't have the ability to do it day they will be able to speak up for themselves but for now it's our job and you did great!!!

  2. It sounds like you brought it up perfectly, and that you totally did the right thing. It doesn't sound like you're *that* mom, you're just starting out with protecting your little one when you can't be with her all the time. You need to set the foundation, set the expectation, and you did it gently at that. Good job!

  3. I think, whether we want to admit this or not, our children are different and they often do not have the voice to speak for themselves nor the ability to tell us sometimes when something is bothering them or when something happened that bothered them.

    We are their voice. Their advocate. Their protector and their mom.

    I think you did a great job.I really do.

  4. Like everyone said, you totally did the right thing. You are her voice. But wondering whether to intervene is always a quandary for me, even now that my kids are old enough to handle their own problems. It is a fine line that I walk every day (especially with my son). He is the type of kid that has a reputation for inviting trouble. So often he is accused of things whether he is guilty or not. I guess my underlying thought is that I am his biggest fan and advocate and I need to have his back when it counts. You are a good mom :)

  5. I would have been upset too.You did the right thing by saying something.

  6. I think you handled the situation very well. There is nothing wrong with making sure our kids are taken care of and that is what you were doing.

  7. You rock! brought it up perfectly and I think it is great the teacher knew you were means she knows it was her brought it up thoughtful, not in haste, and opened the lines of communication...I to leave Maddie in the car for groceries sometimes...because she wants to help and sometimes I just cannot do it all! Yeah for being your kids positive advocate!


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