Today is Nov 13, and my little girl is 10 months old. If you check out the date stamp above, you'll notice that I meant to write this post quite some time ago. I figure I've procrastinated long enough. I didn't put it off because I didn't want to write it, but more because I knew it was going to take a while...
On January 12, I worked in the morning and then left to pick up Darren. We headed to the doctor for our last growth scan before meeting our little one. The doctor wanted to have one final appointment to check her out, and then we would schedule our induction date. Our two and a half hour drive to the doctor was uneventful, and when we got there it was just a short wait until we were brought to the u/s room. We'd had this tech before (she was the one who first noticed that something didn't look right with Claire's heart), and we chatted with her as she got started.
I was watching the measurements, but my head must have been a little foggy that day. The tech said that she was measuring behind, and I kind of brushed her off saying that her arm and leg measurements were always 1-2 weeks behind. She said she knew that, but that today ALL of her measurements were coming up between 33-34 weeks, and that I was 37 weeks along. And all I could think to say was, oh that's not good! The doctors knew that the blood flow through her cord was restricted, but since we'd made it this far in the pregnancy with no growth restriction, I thought we were home free. Darren and I exchanged an uneasy look once the tech left the room.
We were joined by the doctor. We'd seen her quite a few times by now, and she was one of our favorites in the practice. She did a quick u/s, checked the measurements and said 'lets go have a baby'. Even though I knew she was going to say that, there was a moment of stunned silence. I asked her if it was possible for us to go home and come back in the morning. I wasn't prepared to have a baby that day. Things weren't cleaned up at work, we had no clothes, no diaper bag, no car seat. We were not prepared at all. She said, no, that with the baby's measurements she was telling us she needed to be born, and that she wouldn't forgive herself if anything happened to her if we went home.
We had a general idea of where the hospital was, but the u/s tech got us directions as the doctor called the hospital to let them know we were on our way. Once we got in the car we started making all of our phone calls. We called our parents and friends, who were waiting to hear when our induction date would be. Instead, we got to tell them all we were heading to the hospital to have a baby. My heart was racing, my palms were sweating and I'm pretty sure my voice was shaky. I was both excited and very nervous. Nervous to be induced, nervous for labor and nervous to meet our baby.
Google's directions failed us, and it took us almost two hours to get to the hospital. As we drove in circles, we joked that it was a good thing I wasn't in labor or I would be having a panic attack by this point. We made it to the hospital, went upstairs and the nurses got us settled into a room. A doctor, one I hadn't met before, stopped by briefly to confirm that I did want to be induced, instead of heading right for a c section. I told her that was correct, no c section unless I had to.
As the nurses were getting everything ready for the induction, we told them that we were pretty sure that our baby had Ds. We told them that she was loved and wanted, and we wanted our delivery to be a happy event. The nurse didn't really say much, just a quick acknowledgement as she did her job. I was a little put out that she didn't seem to be on the same page as us, but the nerves for what was coming outweighed my irritation.
The nurses got an IV in and started me on Pitocin. The baby was still high and I wasn't dilated at all. They wanted to make sure she could tolerate contractions before they gave me anything to help me dilate. By this time my mom and dad had arrived. The Pit dose was increased every 15 minutes, and even though I had no pain at all with the contractions, the nurse was calling them moderate. At about 10pm the doctor said we'd given the baby enough time to show distress,and since she didn't, she could tolerate labor. By now I was starving as I hadn't eaten since breakfast. They wouldn't give me anything to eat earlier in case I'd needed a c section right away. The basic sandwich I got for dinner had never tasted so good!
My parents left and we waited for the nurses to come back with the stuff for my cervix. They finally got back with it a little before midnight, and we settled in for some sleep. A half an hour later the room filled with people. I hadn't been asleep for too long and was very out of it at first. Two nurses were helping me sit up and roll over, a third was giving me meds in the IV and the fourth was calling the doctor. Claire's heart rate had dropped into the 50s and they were trying to reposition me and get it back up. The med they gave me made me shiver uncontrollably, and between that and the nerves, I was a trembling, crying mess. I was terrified that we were going to lose her, but they were able to get her heart rate back up and stabilized. Since she was stable the dr decided to wait until morning to try anything new.
Needless to say, we didn't sleep much after that. I stayed on my side, watching the monitor, and barely moved all night. I don't think I slept more than about ten minutes. I just couldn't take my eyes off her heart rate monitor. In the morning, she wasn't any lower and I still wasn't dilated. They gave me a small dose of Pit, much less than I'd had the night before, but her heart rate dropped again. It was obvious by then that the induction wasn't going to work, so they put us in line for a c section. At this point her heart rate was stable, but I really just wanted to get her out, where I could actually see what was happening with her.
It was finally our turn for surgery. We had a plan worked out that Darren would be in the OR with me for the surgery. Once she was born, he would stay with her, and my mom would join me in the OR and in recovery. We reminded the drs that even with all of our ultrasounds, we STILL didn't know our baby's gender, and I wanted Darren to be the one to tell me.
We got to the OR, and between the cold room and my nerves I was shaking. The NICU team was there waiting. The dr got the epidural in, they got my nausea under control and then we were ready for surgery. I don't have any idea how long the surgery actually took, but I don't think it was too long.
And then, the baby was out. Darren, through his tears, said it was a girl, it was our little Claire. She was crying, Darren was crying, and so was I. They held her up so that I could see her, and then took her to the NICU team so she could be checked out. And all I could think about was the fact that I was sure she was going to be a boy. I didn't know what I was going to do with a girl!
Darren was with the NICU team as the were looking Claire over, and I heard "babies with Down syndrome...". And even though we pretty much already knew, I hated that the confirmation came while I was still on the operating table, without any anybody by my side, and before I'd even held her. When they brought her to me, I looked at her sweet face and loved her, but I was also looking for Ds. And I just couldn't really tell one way or the other. She didn't look any different to me than any other new baby. I do remember thinking her thumb looked a little funny, but I couldn't pin down what was different about it. Since it looks totally fine today, I think it was just stress.
Claire and Darren went to the NICU, and my mom came into the OR while they finished the surgery and took me to recovery. The worst part of the c section was that my baby was finally here, and I couldn't be with her. I got the shakes in recovery, and even though I was exhausted from no sleep the night before, I just couldn't doze off. We finally made it to our room upstairs, and started getting visitors. Darren's parents, my parents, my sister and our pastor all filled the small room.
Finally, around 6 pm (Claire was born at 10:24 am) I was able to go down to the NICU and spend some time with my girl. My best friend and her husband had just arrived with our clothes and car seat, so Darren took me to the NICU, and then went back to our room to visit with them. I was able to spend an hour with my girl, just drinking her in. Talking to her, loving her. And that alone time was the perfect ending to a hectic, nerve-wracking, but also a most amazing, wonderful day.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Pregnany Timeline...
These next couple of posts are probably going to be a very long and very boring post for anyone but me...but I need to get this info down before I forget any more details than I already have.
TTC: I went off my BC pills around our first anniversary. It had been 10+ years since I'd been off of them so I expected it to take it a little while to get my body to a regular cycle. But after a year with only 3 periods and tests to confirm I wasn't ovulating we decided to try Clomid. The first 2 rounds at 50 and 100 didn't cause me to ovulate at all. The 3rd and 4th rounds, both at 150, did cause ovulation.
June 1: The best birthday present ever, a POSITIVE pregnancy test!
June 30: This was our first Dr appt and u/s. The u/s showed me to be about 9 weeks along and my due date was set at January 31, 2010. Baby's Heart Rate was 180+.
August 3 (14 weeks): Check up. Baby's HR 152.
August 24 (17 weeks): Baby's HR 137. My BP 124/70. I felt baby's first movement at 17w 5d and was feeling consistent movement around 20 weeks. Quad screen test was performed last week and the results came back with an increased risk of Down syndrome. My risk was 1/80, which is considerably higher than the risk based on my age and is considered a "positive" test. Level II u/s scheduled for next week.
18 weeks: Level II u/s performed in Denver. Baby's long bones in arms and legs were measuring about a week behind. Dr advised that this is a marker for Down syndrome, but a weak marker. Ds risk left at 1/80. Amnio was offered but we declined as we wouldn't terminate and didn't want to risk a miscarriage. Dr wants to watch baby's growth so we will have u/s every 4-6 weeks.
September 25 (21 weeks): Baby's HR 139. Darren felt the baby move at 21w 6d. You could see the baby's movement from the outside at 22w 1d.
October 6 (23 weeks): Baby's HR 138. My BP 118/70. Growth scan looked good. Arm/legs bones still measuring about a week behind. Back in 4 weeks for growth scan and 3D u/s.
November 6 (27 weeks): Baby's HR 135. My BP 120/72. Arms/leg bones still measuring the same. Baby's overall growth was right on track. The u/s tech found that the dopplers, blood flow through the cord, were elevated and this could cause IUGR. Back to Denver to have high risk Drs look at the dopplers.
November 11 (28 weeks): The Dr confirmed that the dopplers are elevated. This could indicated a problem with the placenta. Back in one week to see if dopplers have changed.
November 18 (29 weeks): Dopplers are still elevated and values are the roughly the same as last week. The u/s tech and the Dr found what appears to be a heart defect. If the defect is confirmed to be an AVSD this will increase our risk for Ds to 50/50 odds. Back next week to check dopplers and a growth scan. Also meeting with a pediatric cardiologist for an echo on the baby's heart to see if we can confirm defect.
November 20 ( 29 weeks): Check up. Baby's HR 139. My BP 124/70. Glucose and CBC are normal.
30 weeks: First appt was with the cardiologist. The tech did the echo and said that she was able to get all the pictures she needed for the Dr to review. The cardiologist confirmed that the defect is an AVSD, and that this defect is very common in babies that have Ds. He told us that our baby would need open heart surgery before 6 months of age. He said that the surgery has very good results and that meds aren't normally needed after the repair is completed. We left the appt feeling good and headed to the growth scan. Dopplers were still elevated, but unchanged. Baby's growth still good overall with long bones still measuring short. Back in 4 weeks for another growth scan. Weekly non-stress tests and fluid level checks will also be performed at regular OB. Amnio was offered again but we declined as we didn't want to risk preterm labor
31 weeks: Went to regular OB for NST and baby was non-responsive. Since my Dr wouldn't be in for a while they sent me to L&D to be monitored. I spent 2 hours on the monitor before they got the activity the were happy with. The baby's HR was always steady, but they said it wasn't increasing enough with the movement. Dr advised to watch kick counts closely.
32 weeks: Another NST with OB. Baby's heart rate in response to the movements still wasn't what they wanted it to be. BPP was done and baby passed with a full score so they let us come home. Still advising to watch kick counts.
December 15 (33 weeks): Baby passed NST. Fluid levels good. I didn't seem much difference between this NST and the prior 2 weeks, but the Dr said it looked better. I wonder if they have just decided my baby responds a little differently than most.
34 weeks: Growth scan in Denver. Baby's overall growth is right at 50th percentile. Long bones about 2-3 weeks behind. Dopplers still elevated but unchanged. Baby's weight estimated at 4 lb 11 oz. Back in 3 weeks to pick induction date.
December 29 (35 weeks): Baby's HR 138. My BP 130/88. Baby passed NST. Fluid levels good.
TTC: I went off my BC pills around our first anniversary. It had been 10+ years since I'd been off of them so I expected it to take it a little while to get my body to a regular cycle. But after a year with only 3 periods and tests to confirm I wasn't ovulating we decided to try Clomid. The first 2 rounds at 50 and 100 didn't cause me to ovulate at all. The 3rd and 4th rounds, both at 150, did cause ovulation.
June 1: The best birthday present ever, a POSITIVE pregnancy test!
June 30: This was our first Dr appt and u/s. The u/s showed me to be about 9 weeks along and my due date was set at January 31, 2010. Baby's Heart Rate was 180+.
August 3 (14 weeks): Check up. Baby's HR 152.
August 24 (17 weeks): Baby's HR 137. My BP 124/70. I felt baby's first movement at 17w 5d and was feeling consistent movement around 20 weeks. Quad screen test was performed last week and the results came back with an increased risk of Down syndrome. My risk was 1/80, which is considerably higher than the risk based on my age and is considered a "positive" test. Level II u/s scheduled for next week.
18 weeks: Level II u/s performed in Denver. Baby's long bones in arms and legs were measuring about a week behind. Dr advised that this is a marker for Down syndrome, but a weak marker. Ds risk left at 1/80. Amnio was offered but we declined as we wouldn't terminate and didn't want to risk a miscarriage. Dr wants to watch baby's growth so we will have u/s every 4-6 weeks.
September 25 (21 weeks): Baby's HR 139. Darren felt the baby move at 21w 6d. You could see the baby's movement from the outside at 22w 1d.
October 6 (23 weeks): Baby's HR 138. My BP 118/70. Growth scan looked good. Arm/legs bones still measuring about a week behind. Back in 4 weeks for growth scan and 3D u/s.
November 6 (27 weeks): Baby's HR 135. My BP 120/72. Arms/leg bones still measuring the same. Baby's overall growth was right on track. The u/s tech found that the dopplers, blood flow through the cord, were elevated and this could cause IUGR. Back to Denver to have high risk Drs look at the dopplers.
November 11 (28 weeks): The Dr confirmed that the dopplers are elevated. This could indicated a problem with the placenta. Back in one week to see if dopplers have changed.
November 18 (29 weeks): Dopplers are still elevated and values are the roughly the same as last week. The u/s tech and the Dr found what appears to be a heart defect. If the defect is confirmed to be an AVSD this will increase our risk for Ds to 50/50 odds. Back next week to check dopplers and a growth scan. Also meeting with a pediatric cardiologist for an echo on the baby's heart to see if we can confirm defect.
November 20 ( 29 weeks): Check up. Baby's HR 139. My BP 124/70. Glucose and CBC are normal.
30 weeks: First appt was with the cardiologist. The tech did the echo and said that she was able to get all the pictures she needed for the Dr to review. The cardiologist confirmed that the defect is an AVSD, and that this defect is very common in babies that have Ds. He told us that our baby would need open heart surgery before 6 months of age. He said that the surgery has very good results and that meds aren't normally needed after the repair is completed. We left the appt feeling good and headed to the growth scan. Dopplers were still elevated, but unchanged. Baby's growth still good overall with long bones still measuring short. Back in 4 weeks for another growth scan. Weekly non-stress tests and fluid level checks will also be performed at regular OB. Amnio was offered again but we declined as we didn't want to risk preterm labor
31 weeks: Went to regular OB for NST and baby was non-responsive. Since my Dr wouldn't be in for a while they sent me to L&D to be monitored. I spent 2 hours on the monitor before they got the activity the were happy with. The baby's HR was always steady, but they said it wasn't increasing enough with the movement. Dr advised to watch kick counts closely.
32 weeks: Another NST with OB. Baby's heart rate in response to the movements still wasn't what they wanted it to be. BPP was done and baby passed with a full score so they let us come home. Still advising to watch kick counts.
December 15 (33 weeks): Baby passed NST. Fluid levels good. I didn't seem much difference between this NST and the prior 2 weeks, but the Dr said it looked better. I wonder if they have just decided my baby responds a little differently than most.
34 weeks: Growth scan in Denver. Baby's overall growth is right at 50th percentile. Long bones about 2-3 weeks behind. Dopplers still elevated but unchanged. Baby's weight estimated at 4 lb 11 oz. Back in 3 weeks to pick induction date.
December 29 (35 weeks): Baby's HR 138. My BP 130/88. Baby passed NST. Fluid levels good.
January 5 (36 weeks): Baby's HR 133. MY BP 128/88. Baby passed NST. Fluid levels good.
January 12 (37 weeks): Headed back to Denver for last growth scan and to pick induction date. The growth scan showed that baby hadn't grown at all from the last u/s 3 weeks ago. All measurements at this time are 3-4 weeks behind. So, it's time to have a baby!
As I read back over this time line, the one thing I've left out is the emotion of being pregnant. I LOVED being pregnant! I did have an easy time of it, no morning sickness, not too much weight gain, but the whole experience was just amazing for me. I loved knowing that a new person was growing and would soon make an entrance into the world. I loved feeling every wiggle and movement of the baby. I was even sorry to have missed out on the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy.
But I also worried. I worried about our baby's health. I worried that something was going to happen to her before she was born. But all of this worry stemmed from the tests that we had. We would discover some new problem with the pregnancy, I would finally get comfortable, and then something new would pop up. While the tests were very helpful at the end, when she wasn't growing, I'm still unsure if we will do all this scanning and testing on our next baby.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Traveling
Claire had a very busy weekend last weekend. It was her first over night visit to the grandmas and she also got to meet most of her aunts, uncles and cousins. We scheduled our departure time around her feedings and it worked well. She slept all the way to moms and we arrived right on time for another feeding. 
Little girl was exhausted from being passed around and meeting all these new people, but she was still cheerful. I was a little worried about being away from home and all her things at first but it worked out well. We didn't forget too many things and I think our next over night visit will go even smoother.
Saturday was spent catching up with my brother, Jake. He just returned from Marine boot camp, and was only in town for a few days. While he was here, he and his girlfriend Erin got married! Not only is Jake now a Marine and husband, he is also a father to Erin's 3 kids.
It was snowing like crazy last weekend so we left mom's house a little earlier than we'd planned so we could make it to Darren's parents before the weather got any worse. We spent Saturday night and Sunday morning with them, before heading home to meet my aunt, who had just flown into town to spend some time with Claire. Talk about hectic!
Little girl was exhausted from being passed around and meeting all these new people, but she was still cheerful. I was a little worried about being away from home and all her things at first but it worked out well. We didn't forget too many things and I think our next over night visit will go even smoother.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Dr appts and daycare
I look pretty tired in this picture of us from Valentine's Day, but I don't have very many of Claire and I. I always seem to be behind the camera, so this one will have to do for now.
Claire had her one month well baby check up and her one month cardiology appointment last week. Both appointments went very well. She weighs 7 lb 1 oz and both doctors were very happy with her weight gain. The cardiologist echo'ed her heart and said it looks great. There isn't any enlargement at all. He said he won't echo her next month, but will do a chest x-ray instead to make sure her lungs still look good. They will continue to monitor her growth, but at this point the Dr is optimistic that we can push her surgery back to 4-5 months of age if her weight gain continues at this same rate.
On the daycare front we found a great situation for Claire. The gal we found recently left her job and has been staying home. Her kids are older (middle school and high school) and she wanted to have a baby around again. She was initially looking for a couple of kids, but when we explained Claire's heart condition she was fine with just taking her. We spent 2 hours at Carmen's house getting to know her and she was great with Claire. She has a beautiful and spotlessly clean house and is reasonably priced. We feel *very* blessed to have found her!
Saturday, February 13, 2010
1 month old...
I can't believe my girl is already a month old. It seems like we just got home from the hospital, but instead I have to go back to work in two weeks...
Claire, you are such a sweet and happy baby and I cherish all of our time together. You've grown and changed so much already, and can't wait to see what adventures you have ahead of you!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Early Intervention and vaccinations
Claire had her first Early Intervention (EI) meeting with providers today. I had met with the service coordinator last week, but it was mostly to go over the program in general and to set up this meeting with the providers.
Today we met with an Occupational Therapist and a Registered Nutritionist. They came during Claire's morning feeding so the first half of the meeting was mostly just chatting and getting acquainted. Once she was done eating the OT showed us a few things we could be doing with her tummy time to help strengthen her neck. She said that her the amount of movement of her head and strength in her neck was very good. She also mentioned that her muscle tone in her arms and legs was good. The OT recommended that in addition to tummy time we prop her up on her sides to allow her to work with her hands at her mid line.
The nutritionist did a bunch of calculations based on Claire's weight to make sure she is eating enough. She is eating an average of 3-3 1/2 oz per feeding and that is over what her caloric needs are. The nutritionist said that she thought we could stretch Claire's 1 am feeding out a bit, which would allow me a little more sleep! We go back to Claire's Dr on Friday for her 1 month check-up so I'll ask him what he thinks about this too. Before the nutritionist left she weighed and measured her. Her length is 18.75 inches and her weight is 6 lb 15 oz! Claire weighed 5 lbs 12 oz at her Dr appt less than 2 weeks ago, so I am thrilled that she is gaining so much weight.
For Claire's appt on Friday I also need to decide what I want to do for vaccinations. I want to do a delayed schedule, but don't have a specific schedule in mind. Did any of you do a delayed schedule and was there one that you would recommend?
Today we met with an Occupational Therapist and a Registered Nutritionist. They came during Claire's morning feeding so the first half of the meeting was mostly just chatting and getting acquainted. Once she was done eating the OT showed us a few things we could be doing with her tummy time to help strengthen her neck. She said that her the amount of movement of her head and strength in her neck was very good. She also mentioned that her muscle tone in her arms and legs was good. The OT recommended that in addition to tummy time we prop her up on her sides to allow her to work with her hands at her mid line.
The nutritionist did a bunch of calculations based on Claire's weight to make sure she is eating enough. She is eating an average of 3-3 1/2 oz per feeding and that is over what her caloric needs are. The nutritionist said that she thought we could stretch Claire's 1 am feeding out a bit, which would allow me a little more sleep! We go back to Claire's Dr on Friday for her 1 month check-up so I'll ask him what he thinks about this too. Before the nutritionist left she weighed and measured her. Her length is 18.75 inches and her weight is 6 lb 15 oz! Claire weighed 5 lbs 12 oz at her Dr appt less than 2 weeks ago, so I am thrilled that she is gaining so much weight.
For Claire's appt on Friday I also need to decide what I want to do for vaccinations. I want to do a delayed schedule, but don't have a specific schedule in mind. Did any of you do a delayed schedule and was there one that you would recommend?
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